It seems that Lance Armstrong (may the wind always be at his back) and Sheryl Crow (trophy girlfriend) have split up. That's right, kids, even the most socially conscious among us can be dysfunctional. Reuters editorializes:
A cancer survivor, Armstrong has been a highly visible fund-raiser for victims and survivors of the disease. His nonprofit foundation created the yellow "Livestrong" wristbands that became a nearly ubiquitous symbol of philanthropy and fashion.
It was like WWJD bracelets with a touch of compassion, or snap bracelets for charity, or gel bracelets for teenage sex parties. Oh, wait...
Fortunately, as with all good things, all stupid fads must come to an end, and the yellow bracelets are becoming rarer. (Not a swipe at cancer victims; this is a polemic against all you hipsters who think that complying with cultural dress codes will cure cancer.) And all of this just in time for Mick Jagger 2 (Bono, dude) to introduce his own "save the world" brand..."Red."
"Red" will have all the identities of a global superhero, performing the Herculean tasks of saving Africa from AIDS while assuming these exciting identities (never before seen in a comic book): at fashion shows, as an IPOD flavor, as Bono's shade manufacturer, as a progressive UK AmEx card, and as a springboard for Angelina Jolie's second career, as a post-partum model of Condi/Hillary Wear and the head of a that company's charity.
And yet, one is left asking the question, "If Bono had been elected to the world bank, would African AIDS even matter to him?" Also, is this "philanthropic fad" destined to go the way of the yellow bracelet and the pink ribbon? We can hope so. It's not that we don't want to see these issues resolved, but a bunch of self-righteous do-gooders who are using the victims of these tragedies to springboard second, third, and fourth careers and to try to resurrect their popularity are getting really annoying.
Word to the celebrities: If you really must annoy the crap out of us by not riding off into the sunset, do it as the Strolling Bones are doing it...at a Super Bowl Halftime show, where we can change the channel. DO NOT convince my government to rob me to pay for your pet project, then come out and tell me that I need to buy your garrish Armani junk with your AmEx credit card to save the world. Screw off!
